finding myself

I feel like a puzzle

I haven’t yet found the pieces

but the picture so far is beautiful

I get to iron out its creases

as time goes;

over and over it unfolds

and folds back into itself

as I find myself

collecting my pieces

never finishing the puzzle.

incomplete drawing, the tireless ‘self-portrait’ of the eye-flower… bringing to mind that ‘puzzle’.

meditation

Let go. Let go. Let go. Surrender. Your body is heavy as a rock. Sinking into Earth.

Breathe.

Breathe again. Hard.

Let it all out. Let it go. Surrender.

Open your heart. Let it heal. Breathe into its healing. Feel the expansion. The blossoming. The spread of wildflowers blazing.

Breathe in possibilities. Breathe out all that is holding you back. All your limitations.

Breathe. Hard. Love yourself. Feel the expansion in your chest. See the flowers.

See your throat. Breathe in. Know your truth, settle into your truth, let it out HARD.

Open your chest, your throat, yourSelf. Let it heal.

Focus on your third eye. Look within. Witness the beautiful, beautiful jungle inside. It is you. Unfolding with life. Slow. Peaceful. Loving-blossoming.

Feel the breeze against the side of your face. The tingling. Sensation, bringing you deeper, further. See with your mind’s eye. The jungle is there.

The breeze. Bringing you back to the healing. Deeper, further. Feel it piercing through you. Feel every single cell inside and through. Healing. Blooming.

See. See with the omniscient eye inside the layers, past the layers within. The peaceful jungle. Full of slow, timeless life.

Sometimes the breathing stops. You don’t know what or where or how or whatever. But you. Know. This.

Your whole body. Tingling. Exhilarating.

Soaring. Ecstasy.

Feel everything.

Breath underneath your wings.

Surrender, surrender, deeper, deeper.

Implode.

Timelessness.


And explode in a chaos of sensations. Rush to the surface. Wiggle. Try to feel something concrete – material.

Here we are. The floor is there. Your toes are there. Ahhhh, your breath is there.

Roll to one side. Everything is loose. Jelly.

Push weakly up. Are you up? Woah. The world is spinning, even with eyes closed. You want to go back – the jungle, the eye, the tingling, the soaring. It all flashes before you.

You sit. Open. Giving, receiving, existing. Being.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. You bow to the divinity. Inside, outside – it doesn’t matter. Being.

‘omniprésence’ by Bee

.: a new astrological year :.

Hello! Hello! Spring has come!

spring spring spring spring spring spring spring spring spring spring spring

Even the word brings to mind the feeling. I just want to hop around outside, in the sun, twirling through fresh new little plants. I can feel the Universe tugging me forward, breathing air underneath my wings. I am so ready to take on what Life has in store!

This feeling is very much in line with what is going on with Earth and the stars. We are beggining a new astrological year, but we are also at the beggining of the earth’s seasons cycle (at least in the northern hemisphere).

The past few weeks have been difficult. Lots of mourning – of old relationships, old habit/thought patterns, old paradigms. Mourning my past selves. Mourning the winter.

The air is filled with possibilities. I am so excited to get my hands in the dirt.

It’s coming.

Shantih Shantih Shantih

Bee

Intentions

It is a beautiful morning to be alive.

this is what it looks like, standing out of my door this morning

I write down goals and intentions every day before starting on anything else. This morning, it came in the form of a poem. Here it is.

Intention

I am spontaneous

I am courageous

I take back my power

Earth, I flow with Her

I am healthy and strong

I admit that i’m wrong

or maybe I’m right?

whatever it is, I won’t fight

I express myself

I accept your self

I practice

I know my purpose

taking risks

I follow my path

knowing I haven’t missed

any of the math

I embrace my uniqueness

I command creative fearlessness

off in the Cosmos, I send

THIS, I intend.

Sage advice from Elbert Hubbard

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual. . . . Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude – the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

‘prana’ in oil pastels, created by Bee… “We are gods in the chrysalis.”

Tips from my favourite poet…


I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

plant song

When I was a child – and still to this day – my mother kept a panoply of plants in the house. I didn’t think much of them then; I thought plants were part of a house, like a piece of furniture. That everyone had plants in their house. I watched them flowering dearly and marvelled with my mom at the beauty of their blossoms. It was only later on when I moved out of the house and brought my room’s plants with me that I realized the sacredness of keeping house plants.

easter cactus flowering ahead of time…

I found myself connecting with them somehow. Hearing their begging for water when they needed it, for nutrients or for a soil refreshment. It sounds peculiar, but it’s the only way I can explain it. They spoke to me.

Watering them and tending to them became a ritual, a meditation. I was so wholly present with them; I started hearing their gratefulness. Maybe it’s all in my head, maybe I’m crazy, but it doesn’t matter. Because what I hear and what I feel when I connect with the plants is Divinity itself. Nature.

Eternally beautiful African Violet

I wrote this poem to explain my feelings and thoughts on it.

plant song

earthly consciousness

shaping sunlight into nourishment

I bow to your sacredness

as you remain pure in contentment

 

I pour you Father Sky’s tears

vital to your internal processes

subtle change in vibration; music to my ears

the distinction between us has blurred edges

 

as I sing my love to you internaly

you sing of gratefulness lovingly

a melody of impressions so diverse

yours is my favorite sound in the Universe.